Idiosyncrasies Of Indian Culture and the Indians, part 1
Because I am presently listening to the delightful audio book, "I'm A Stranger Here Myself", by Bill Bryson, I am inspired to do the following expose of quirky aspects of India and its inhabitants. (Bill Bryson's book remarks upon the strange idiosyncrasies of the U.S. and American culture, after having lived in England for 20 years. I highly recommend this read!)
For starters, let's talk about manners:
Many behaviors considered boorish, uncouth and wholly unacceptable by Americans are quite acceptable in India, by Indians, or at least so it appears.
You may have noted in the posting about my return from the Ananda Retreat that there was a family by the side of the road. One of the members--a boy--had his finger firmly entrenched up his nose. Now, I initially thought that I was seeing a child's behavior--surely something that would not occur amongst civilized adults. Not so. I have seen grown men doing the same, unabashed gross acts, blatantly in public, with no sense of furtiveness or concern, so it seems. I thus have gleaned that such an act--which we, as Americans, consider quite gross and uncultured--has no such connotations in India. I have to say, however, I have not seen a single woman indulging in such an unhygienic and unpleasant act. Hmmm.
On cheating a foreigner: I know that those of you who have already traveled in India are aware of this prolific phenomena, one that would not be experienced in the West, or at least to a much lesser degree. Here, in the East--at least in India--it seems to be an acceptable norm! From fruit vendors to taxi/rickshaw drivers, it is a given in their minds that Westerners are filthy rich, and as such, are simply a reasonable target for a con. Thus, one has to be constantly vigilant. When I admonished one such fruit vendor who was trying to double the cost of a handful of oranges, stating that just because I was a westerner didn't mean I should have to pay so much more than the product was worth, he merely grinned at me in this impish manner and lowered the price to a reasonable one.
This habit of grinning in response to an admonishment is an infuriating behavior on the part of Indians I have encountered. I have also seen this behavior when an Indian--men and women alike--push their way ahead of me in a queue. This has happened in grocery stores, check-in lines at the airport, pre-paid taxi stands and the like. Sometimes, I just let it slide--I am annoyed, but being in no great hurry, figure it is not worth the headache of a confrontation. Other times, however, like at the Delhi airport, I was in no such mood to tolerate it. After having BOTH an Uber AND an Ola driver cancel my ride for no apparent reason--another maddening behavior that frequently occurs--I was in no mood to be cut in upon at the pre-paid taxi stand line. When one obese woman attempted to do this to me, I turned and faced her squarely. To first give her the benefit of the doubt, I asked, "Is this your husband?" indicating the man who was directly in front of me in the line. "Nai", was her grinning response. "Then this is MY spot and you will NOT take it from me!!!!" The grin never wavered on her face. The sense I get is that this is some sort of childish game that is entirely acceptable: that is to say, it is simply normal and acceptable to try and see what you can get away with!
Then, there are the idiosyncratic behaviors of hosts, be it Ananda folks--now my friends--or Airbnb owners. To begin with, my lovely hosts of Bhosale Paradise did not think it necessary to get me my own key to the flat. Mind you, I was a PAYING guest; as such, I certainly felt entitled to have one! Not so in their minds. I even offered to find a place to get one of their keys duplicated, to save one of them the trouble! They would have none of it, preferring to go through the endless, daily dance of trying to time who-would-be-home-when to let me in. Not surprisingly, there was more than one incident of being inconveniently locked out, even though I had been promised--more or less!--that someone would be home upon my return.
Next, the issue of dishes: at all times of day and night, there were piles of dishes left in the sink. Not only did this make it hard to find the space to wash my own--which I am in the hygienic habit of doing after EVERY meal--but it meant that I was frequently hunting for a clean plate, bowl or spoon that was as yet unused. Sometimes, therefore, my only recourse was to wash one of THEIR dirty ones. This was maddening! The rationale I heard was that the maid came once daily. Still, with 4 people sharing and cooking in the kitchen, this was a pain and inconvenience, to say the least.
On the subject of electricity consumption: one of my hostesses--won't specify which one--was emphatic about being energy conscious when it came to turning out lights in rooms. I am ALL for this, of course! I am a staunch environmentalist insistent upon this behavior myself. I was HAPPY to hear we were in accord in this regard! Alas, I had no idea initially what the reality was: another example to note of eccentric nuttiness.
This same person frequently fell asleep with her bedroom light on, blazing brightly. (I don't know what it is about Indian bulbs, but the wattage seems infinitely higher than that of the American counterpart.) I know this was the case because I sometimes saw it shining into the wee hours of morning under her bedroom door. I thought that surely she could not STILL be awake! Another time, her door was left open and I could see inside: she was fast asleep on her bed. (I, of course, could never sleep with lights ablaze! And HOW terribly wasteful!) And yet, the very next day, she was piddling about in the kitchen, trying to do--who-knows-what--with the lights completely OFF! "Isn't it hard to see what you are doing?" I queried. "Aren't you afraid of slicing off a finger with a knife...or...whatever?" She merely in response and replied she wasn't using any knives! And mind you, it was quite dim in that kitchen without any lights on. Go figure!
Regarding educated Indian men who speak fluent English: I have encountered several such men who seem to be thrilled with the idea that they have an English speaking foreigner in their midst. The result is that they start prattling on cheerfully about every topic under the sun, and I am unable to get in a word edgewise! This has happened with Uber drivers, fellow passengers on public transportation, and so forth. Are they trying to impress me, or what?! I guess that this might be the most flattering interpretation. Or, it may simply be that their wives tune them out, and they are merely happy to have a new and unwittingly captive audience on which to practice!
(NOTE: I do have to thank one of these guys for a fabulous bit of info he imparted, however: that my name--Sher-- means "tiger" in Hindi. Of course I imagine the spelling is entirely different, but who cares? What a fabulous connotation: I fiercely and fearlessly navigate my way through this wild and crazy country, roaring my intimidating roar, warning all not to even THINK about messing with me!!!)
On the subject of hygiene, part 2: there is the appalling habit of vendors (and more recently, train staff) of touching the very part of a utensil that will be going directly into your food or your mouth. For example, when I have purchased my coconut water, the vendors could easily handle the straw by the middle--a practice that I appreciated in Mexico--but no, they touch the END of the straw, which will either be going into either the water OR the mouth! Yech! I am doing my best to adjust to the MUCH lower standard of hygiene than I am accustomed to; nonetheless, I cannot help but cringe. It is hard to ward off my imagination when contemplating where those hands might have been prior to serving up my food or drink.
Then today, when taking the rail from Delhi to Rishikesh, I asked a staff member for a knife with which to cut my fresh papaya. Of all the places he COULD have picked up that knife--you guessed it--he picked it up by the cutting tip and NOT the handle. Again, one just has to let these things go in order to survive here! Sure am glad that I am immunity to Hep A...
On the subject of the hours of eating and sleeping: yes, here is yet another peculiarity I have observed. To begin with, it is noteworthy that this country is home to the origin of yogic practices, one of the most wonderful things about it. I have always understood it to be a very yogic practice to go to bed with the sun and wake up with the sun, meditating on both ends. Equally important is to eat lightly and NOT to eat late at night. And yet, the opposite happens here, quite universally. I believe that perhaps it is a trait they have adopted from Europeans, owing to the long-standing influence of the British. From my travels in Europe, I have witnessed a culture of typically eating dinner at 7 or 8 in the evening. Indians, however, are far worse in this regard: I have seen many dining as late as 9 or 10, then not going to sleep until midnight or much later. Then, of course, they sleep late into the morning. It seems quite contradictory to a yogic way of life! (By contrast, the average American eats dinner around 6--if not earlier-- and goes to bed by 10 or 11 at the latest. Then, one gets up for work by 6 in the morning, thereabouts.)
When I have protested and/or persisted (when in the company of locals) in following my own particular eating routine, they think that I am most peculiar, at the very least. "Tisk tisk", I can practically hear them thinking, "There is something truly wrong with this woman!" And I am forced to sheepishly slink off and eat my vegan fare on the sly.
And speaking of being a vegan--which, clearly, the vast majority of Indians ALSO find most peculiar--I was greatly heartened by the cutest sign I passed on a road in Pune: next to an enlarged photo of the most adorable chick, the sign read, "Say NO to this hot chick--go vegan!" Acha. There is hope for this world!!!
For starters, let's talk about manners:
Many behaviors considered boorish, uncouth and wholly unacceptable by Americans are quite acceptable in India, by Indians, or at least so it appears.
You may have noted in the posting about my return from the Ananda Retreat that there was a family by the side of the road. One of the members--a boy--had his finger firmly entrenched up his nose. Now, I initially thought that I was seeing a child's behavior--surely something that would not occur amongst civilized adults. Not so. I have seen grown men doing the same, unabashed gross acts, blatantly in public, with no sense of furtiveness or concern, so it seems. I thus have gleaned that such an act--which we, as Americans, consider quite gross and uncultured--has no such connotations in India. I have to say, however, I have not seen a single woman indulging in such an unhygienic and unpleasant act. Hmmm.
On cheating a foreigner: I know that those of you who have already traveled in India are aware of this prolific phenomena, one that would not be experienced in the West, or at least to a much lesser degree. Here, in the East--at least in India--it seems to be an acceptable norm! From fruit vendors to taxi/rickshaw drivers, it is a given in their minds that Westerners are filthy rich, and as such, are simply a reasonable target for a con. Thus, one has to be constantly vigilant. When I admonished one such fruit vendor who was trying to double the cost of a handful of oranges, stating that just because I was a westerner didn't mean I should have to pay so much more than the product was worth, he merely grinned at me in this impish manner and lowered the price to a reasonable one.
This habit of grinning in response to an admonishment is an infuriating behavior on the part of Indians I have encountered. I have also seen this behavior when an Indian--men and women alike--push their way ahead of me in a queue. This has happened in grocery stores, check-in lines at the airport, pre-paid taxi stands and the like. Sometimes, I just let it slide--I am annoyed, but being in no great hurry, figure it is not worth the headache of a confrontation. Other times, however, like at the Delhi airport, I was in no such mood to tolerate it. After having BOTH an Uber AND an Ola driver cancel my ride for no apparent reason--another maddening behavior that frequently occurs--I was in no mood to be cut in upon at the pre-paid taxi stand line. When one obese woman attempted to do this to me, I turned and faced her squarely. To first give her the benefit of the doubt, I asked, "Is this your husband?" indicating the man who was directly in front of me in the line. "Nai", was her grinning response. "Then this is MY spot and you will NOT take it from me!!!!" The grin never wavered on her face. The sense I get is that this is some sort of childish game that is entirely acceptable: that is to say, it is simply normal and acceptable to try and see what you can get away with!
Then, there are the idiosyncratic behaviors of hosts, be it Ananda folks--now my friends--or Airbnb owners. To begin with, my lovely hosts of Bhosale Paradise did not think it necessary to get me my own key to the flat. Mind you, I was a PAYING guest; as such, I certainly felt entitled to have one! Not so in their minds. I even offered to find a place to get one of their keys duplicated, to save one of them the trouble! They would have none of it, preferring to go through the endless, daily dance of trying to time who-would-be-home-when to let me in. Not surprisingly, there was more than one incident of being inconveniently locked out, even though I had been promised--more or less!--that someone would be home upon my return.
Next, the issue of dishes: at all times of day and night, there were piles of dishes left in the sink. Not only did this make it hard to find the space to wash my own--which I am in the hygienic habit of doing after EVERY meal--but it meant that I was frequently hunting for a clean plate, bowl or spoon that was as yet unused. Sometimes, therefore, my only recourse was to wash one of THEIR dirty ones. This was maddening! The rationale I heard was that the maid came once daily. Still, with 4 people sharing and cooking in the kitchen, this was a pain and inconvenience, to say the least.
On the subject of electricity consumption: one of my hostesses--won't specify which one--was emphatic about being energy conscious when it came to turning out lights in rooms. I am ALL for this, of course! I am a staunch environmentalist insistent upon this behavior myself. I was HAPPY to hear we were in accord in this regard! Alas, I had no idea initially what the reality was: another example to note of eccentric nuttiness.
This same person frequently fell asleep with her bedroom light on, blazing brightly. (I don't know what it is about Indian bulbs, but the wattage seems infinitely higher than that of the American counterpart.) I know this was the case because I sometimes saw it shining into the wee hours of morning under her bedroom door. I thought that surely she could not STILL be awake! Another time, her door was left open and I could see inside: she was fast asleep on her bed. (I, of course, could never sleep with lights ablaze! And HOW terribly wasteful!) And yet, the very next day, she was piddling about in the kitchen, trying to do--who-knows-what--with the lights completely OFF! "Isn't it hard to see what you are doing?" I queried. "Aren't you afraid of slicing off a finger with a knife...or...whatever?" She merely in response and replied she wasn't using any knives! And mind you, it was quite dim in that kitchen without any lights on. Go figure!
Regarding educated Indian men who speak fluent English: I have encountered several such men who seem to be thrilled with the idea that they have an English speaking foreigner in their midst. The result is that they start prattling on cheerfully about every topic under the sun, and I am unable to get in a word edgewise! This has happened with Uber drivers, fellow passengers on public transportation, and so forth. Are they trying to impress me, or what?! I guess that this might be the most flattering interpretation. Or, it may simply be that their wives tune them out, and they are merely happy to have a new and unwittingly captive audience on which to practice!
(NOTE: I do have to thank one of these guys for a fabulous bit of info he imparted, however: that my name--Sher-- means "tiger" in Hindi. Of course I imagine the spelling is entirely different, but who cares? What a fabulous connotation: I fiercely and fearlessly navigate my way through this wild and crazy country, roaring my intimidating roar, warning all not to even THINK about messing with me!!!)
On the subject of hygiene, part 2: there is the appalling habit of vendors (and more recently, train staff) of touching the very part of a utensil that will be going directly into your food or your mouth. For example, when I have purchased my coconut water, the vendors could easily handle the straw by the middle--a practice that I appreciated in Mexico--but no, they touch the END of the straw, which will either be going into either the water OR the mouth! Yech! I am doing my best to adjust to the MUCH lower standard of hygiene than I am accustomed to; nonetheless, I cannot help but cringe. It is hard to ward off my imagination when contemplating where those hands might have been prior to serving up my food or drink.
Then today, when taking the rail from Delhi to Rishikesh, I asked a staff member for a knife with which to cut my fresh papaya. Of all the places he COULD have picked up that knife--you guessed it--he picked it up by the cutting tip and NOT the handle. Again, one just has to let these things go in order to survive here! Sure am glad that I am immunity to Hep A...
On the subject of the hours of eating and sleeping: yes, here is yet another peculiarity I have observed. To begin with, it is noteworthy that this country is home to the origin of yogic practices, one of the most wonderful things about it. I have always understood it to be a very yogic practice to go to bed with the sun and wake up with the sun, meditating on both ends. Equally important is to eat lightly and NOT to eat late at night. And yet, the opposite happens here, quite universally. I believe that perhaps it is a trait they have adopted from Europeans, owing to the long-standing influence of the British. From my travels in Europe, I have witnessed a culture of typically eating dinner at 7 or 8 in the evening. Indians, however, are far worse in this regard: I have seen many dining as late as 9 or 10, then not going to sleep until midnight or much later. Then, of course, they sleep late into the morning. It seems quite contradictory to a yogic way of life! (By contrast, the average American eats dinner around 6--if not earlier-- and goes to bed by 10 or 11 at the latest. Then, one gets up for work by 6 in the morning, thereabouts.)
When I have protested and/or persisted (when in the company of locals) in following my own particular eating routine, they think that I am most peculiar, at the very least. "Tisk tisk", I can practically hear them thinking, "There is something truly wrong with this woman!" And I am forced to sheepishly slink off and eat my vegan fare on the sly.
And speaking of being a vegan--which, clearly, the vast majority of Indians ALSO find most peculiar--I was greatly heartened by the cutest sign I passed on a road in Pune: next to an enlarged photo of the most adorable chick, the sign read, "Say NO to this hot chick--go vegan!" Acha. There is hope for this world!!!
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