An Expat In India

A pictorial essay of what you can--and SHOULD!!--try at home! Chin puppet! have a conversation with your own chin! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Hide-n-seek! shhhh...don't tell that I am here in the closet! Never beats scritching the little local pooch... this street dog was in heaven, as was I! Be careful about the furniture... but you can create your own makeshift "raquetball" against a wall of your room! Clear and clean wall to bounce the ball off of... good for hours of fun! Nothing like a "spit-shined" tile floor, wiped 50 times at least, to enable you to see your reflection! Truly one of my faves: catch a moving fan blade with an article of clothing! Exercise extreme patience with this one... but rest assured, glory awaits! "On-the-bed" aerobics: done most comfortably and hygienically in bare feet! Earplug sculptures (does require a sizeable container of earplugs, which happily I

My lovely mouth, as it appears to Dr. Darshan, who now knows it extremely well after 7 hours' worth of digging, poking, prodding and cleaning.....and more is yet to come! OK, picture this: I am in a dental office office chair, humming along while Dr. Darshan sings along to Neil Diamond, playing in the Apple app on his phone. I would be singing too, but that is a little impossible while he is poking, drilling and so forth, inside of my open mouth. But humming works! We sync pretty well, in fact! My foot keeps the beat, back and forth like a metronome. Periodically, Neil is drowned out by the noisy, whirring sounds of dental machinery. So, there might be a little pause in our joint accompaniment. But then we hear, "Sweeeet Caroline.....dah dah dah...." and we both join in once more. Ahhh, yes. Apart from the strange juxtaposition of a folksy American icon being played in an Indian dental office, this picture could be seen as somewhat normal. Of course everyone is

Yours truly, in the latest COVID fashion! I must say, I remind myself of one of the spies in the "I SPY" cartoon from the old Mad Magazines! At least I think that was what it was called... Either that, or I am preparing for a stylish sort of bank robbery!!!! Root canal, how fun!  Yes, friends...this is the unfortunate destiny that caused me to take my departure from the heavenly sanctuary of the ashram, my home for the past 10 weeks.... And so it was that, at 4:45 a.m. yesterday, I said my many sad farewells to dear friends in the ashram, climbed into the taxi and was whisked away into the great unknown. I really was curious to know what the world outside looked like, after being so very sheltered and insulated inside of the ashram. And, management made it quite clear: once anyone departs from the ashram, they are absolutely NOT allowed back in... not at least until COVID 19 is no longer a threat. So...curtains for me and any hope of returning! The 4 hour drive int

Yes, dear readers... On the one hand, I am surrounded by this magnificent beauty, the likes of which you see here in the above photo and in photos I have shared already.  This particular blossom is from a tree that is blooming with such a profusion of these things it is like they have literally exploded onto the branches before they  drop, like little red clumps of  swirly fireballs, onto the pathways below. It is absolutely unlike anything I've ever seen before. A tree packed with blossoms but not a leaf to be seen? I mean, it really is astounding! In general, the flora and fauna flourish brilliantly in this hot season. As I walk through the gardens dripping with sweat, I can't help but relish the extravagance of this lush jungle around me. And then, sad to say, there is the beast: A dastardly molar in my mouth aching with a niggling pain that won't abate. It has been going on for several days now. Am I going to have to depart from this paradise to deal with a den

Omg, where to actually begin? This climate will surely do me in! Boy, am I sick of my fly - paper skin.....! Chugging gallons of water But can't quench my thirst Going hours without peeing Now that's truly a first! But why, you may ask? Well, it's definitely clear That the liquid just pours From my pores I do fear! Yes, I can assure you That it's never boring In this country of India Where temperature's soaring Dazed, as I drag along This sun-baking path To my room, where I take My next hourly bath I must take 10 showers A day, kid you not! My skin is all rashy, My toenails, they rot! So how do they do it? The flora and fauna? How do they survive In this wet, broiling sauna?! The halls with the A.C. Are where humans flock But alas! When I go, 'Tis an even worse shock! This biting, damp cold Is a true Arctic chill To me, it is torture For the Indians? A thrill! Oh, what an

A worship of the Wada* You plump little dumpling, Crispy and round Stuffed with potato, Perfectly browned Behold, my life's quest-- Spud crush of my dreams Your mush, it explodes As you burst at the seams! Great God of all Wadas With spices so fine Oh, how I do savor Your flavor, divine! Crunchy, your delicacy From frying so deep I load up my plate with A glorious heap! But, what is a heap? Is it seven or more? That seems such a trifle To truly adore! Then, dipping sweetly Two chutneys embellish This platter I honor With infinite relish! Dinner's soon over The time, it grows late The yogis do dishes And soon dissipate But my wada and chutney Of tamarind and date Is MY highest devotion, On what I meditate! Take note, oh devotees If you're out to find Bliss There's truly no tater That's greater than this!! *As I am unable to post a photo, I leave it up to you, dear re