Life in the Lock-Down World of Pune: Dental Visit Number Two!

My lovely mouth, as it appears to Dr. Darshan, who now knows it extremely well after 7 hours' worth of digging, poking, prodding and cleaning.....and more is yet to come!

OK, picture this: I am in a dental office office chair, humming along while Dr. Darshan sings along to Neil Diamond, playing in the Apple app on his phone. I would be singing too, but that is a little impossible while he is poking, drilling and so forth, inside of my open mouth. But humming works! We sync pretty well, in fact! My foot keeps the beat, back and forth like a metronome. Periodically, Neil is drowned out by the noisy, whirring sounds of dental machinery. So, there might be a little pause in our joint accompaniment. But then we hear, "Sweeeet Caroline.....dah dah dah...." and we both join in once more.

Ahhh, yes. Apart from the strange juxtaposition of a folksy American icon being played in an Indian dental office, this picture could be seen as somewhat normal. Of course everyone is heavily masked--the dentist, his two assistants--not me while I am in the chair, for obvious reasons! But I am triple-gowned, as are they, with nets over our heads.

But let me back up a bit...

My friend and fellow guest of the Ornate Villa, Sommy (which sounds very much like "Swami"--what I called him--until he finally corrected me today, one week later!), was kind enough to take me to the appointment on his motorcycle. Shortly after we left the driveway, I commented that it was worrisome how few Indians wore helmets on motorbikes. He exclaimed, "Oh! Sorry! You are right!" and turned the bike around. I imagined him emerging from the guest house with two helmets. Not at all--he had only one, which he proceeded to put on his OWN head!!! Yes friends, kid you not, this is a pretty standard scenario: If motorcycle or scooter ("scooties", as they are referred to here) drivers even consider having a helmet on, it is virtually always and only for the driver... NEVER the PASSENGER(S)! What a concept. How SILLY of me to imagine he would have a second helmet for me! Of course not!! How SILLY of me to think that he would let ME protect my head with the one helmet, and not himself! Unthinkable! The illogical aspect of this very prevalent practice never fails to astound me.

What's more, you cannot presume that the likes of a Sommy are simply ignorant, uneducated or dumb. No, this young man is exceedingly bright and well-educated. His English is impeccable. He lived in Italy for five years and speaks fluent Italian as well as some Spanish, on top of Hindi and English. So....what gives?!?! Why would he initially even THINK to get on that motorcycle without a helmet--especially when he owns one--and worse, to think that I, his elder, female passenger, would be far more concerned about him saving his OWN skull than her own?!?! Do not even TRY to make sense of it, dear reader! There can be no sense to it...this is just one of the many, extremely quirky, aspects of Indian culture. Go figure!!!

When I made a rather wry comment to him about how, if we fell, his head would be protected while mine would colorfully crack open like a watermelon, he was clearly dismayed by such imagery! He protested that I should not worry, that he was a very good--and safe--driver. No doubt, I replied. It wasn't him I was worried about, but rather other, crazy drivers, in cars, buses and trucks. It is a well known fact that drivers of such vehicles frequently fail to see motorcyclists, or at least fail to give them a safe enough cushion if they DO see them. He did at least agree with me, but once again assured me he would get me there safely.

I am typing this blog post, so you too are now assured I survived the out-and-back journey. Thank God! But I can tell you that I had my heart in my throat the whole time, and a white-knuckled grip on the seat behind him. It would not have been my first choice, obviously. But same as I would not have chosen Ornate--seriously overpriced for what it is--as a place to land in Pune, choices are simply extremely limited in the lock-down world. Ubers are running in a limited fashion, but it is a risky business in terms of possible exposure to Covid, considering how many people may have occupied the vehicle. So, I had to weigh the options: the dangers of a helmet-less motorcycle ride, versus the dangers of Covid in a semi-public vehicle. Well... I opted for the former, and thank God I made it safely there and back!

But...not the end of the story: When we arrived on the street, there was a barricade between us and the office where we needed to go. There was no way for Sommy to drive me right up to the address. We tried two other ways in: both also barricaded. I had no choice but to get off the bike and climb over the barricade! (I found out from Dr. Darshan there was only one way to drive in--how he got there--but it was too complicated and round-about to explain. This additional security measure was owing to new cases of virus recently found in the immediate vicinity.)

That physical barrier overcome,  I thought I was home free, as it were. But then, when I got up to the building's entrance, it was gated and heavily guarded. Five guards, I kid you not! Seemed like serious overkill, if you ask me! Of course none of them spoke any English, and they regarded me with great suspicion. They flat out refused to let me in. They barked at me in Hindi as if I could understand them. I got Dr. Darshan on the phone, and held it up, on speaker, to the obvious alpha guard. There then proceeded to be a ten minute conversation! Wha--?? I mean, I would have thought 30 seconds would have sufficed: "She's my patient, please let her come up"; "Ok sir, no problem". That would have been reasonable. But alas, I forget where I am: India. One simply cannot expect expediency. OR, for what would  be "normal" in an American conversation under such circumstances to apply here. I truly could not fathom why the conversation went on and on as it did, but I COULD discern that the guard kept repeating the same words. I imagined that it went something like this: "Let her up, she's my patient". "Really, are you sure? She looks suspicious to me! You know, white, a foreigner...could be armed...." "No really, she's my patient. She is getting emergency treatment, and as such is allowed entry." "Weeelll, I don't know..... I say she looks suspicious, quite threatening, she surely could have Covid...." "Look, she needs to come up to my office. can you please just let her in?" "Well, I don't know, it's against government lock-down regulations, I could lose my job..." and so on and so forth. I am serious! I was ready to scream.

Finally, they did let me pass, but not before subjecting me to an outdoor, makeshift shower! I was horrified. I shouted into my phone to Dr. Darshan, "What kind of poison are they spraying me with?!?!" He advised me to just let them wet my back side. "It will cool you off!" he chirped cheerfully into my phone. Good God. Whatever that noxious substance was that came out of that shower, it was surely more toxic than the virus! But what the heck, gonna die of something, right?!?! Fait accompli.

At least I had made it! Upstairs, into the dental chair, swishing a horrid iodine mixture to disinfect my mouth...

And so it was, 3 hours later, Neil Diamond still spinning in my brain, I took my leave of the office. Temp crown in place over the root-canaled tooth, a missing filling restored, whole mouth deep-cleaned. And all this, for a whopping--wait for it!--172 buckeroos. Again, a small fraction of what I would have paid in the U.S.. I figure that this amounted to a little over $50 an hour for him AND his two assistants!

Truly unbelievable... I am one happy customer!
Trials, tribulations, and fears about my transport all worth it for excellent dental care that doesn't break the bank, even for a seriously low-budget traveler such as myself.

I still have one more visit to go, as soon as the permanent crown is ready to be put into place. Hopefully by then the lock-down will be lifted. I will venture--albeit, carefully--into an Uber to return to the dental office. I don't want to ask Sommy again: the ride is too risky; it troubles me that he wouldn't let me pay him a cent; it just feels like too much of an imposition. My preference? I really wish I could find a way to get a bicycle!

Darned mouth. But heck, all's well that ends well, as they say. I am safe and sound, back in my homey little room. And it was FUN! One certainly needs some fun in the lock-down world.

So...we shall see what the next adventure shall be!

The street of the dental office. Totally devoid of traffic because of the barricade...all shops are shut, as is the case everywhere I have seen...all except for food stores and chemists (what we call pharmacies, which are everywhere)

My favorite "decoration" in the dental office! Since the staff hasn't gotten around to putting plants in the colorful planter pots, they use it as a receptacle for used gowns and gloves! Innovative.....