Bombs Away!!!!

As you can see, this is a magnificent and regal coconut palm. Beautiful, yes? Maybe... maybe not. It is beautiful until it unleashes... well, read on! 

The coconuts you observe up there--about 80 feet off the ground--nestle so innocently under the lovely fronds. We DO love our coconuts, do we not? 

When harvested young, they yield the most delicious and nutritious coconut water, making for a most satisfying, natural beverage. When aged, the meat is sweet, succulent and versatile, ready to be rendered into an infinite variety of both sweet and savory dishes. Wonderful, the prolific Indian coconut palm!

Unless...like this one, the coconuts are not being harvested. Instead, most tragically, these fine specimens stay attached to the tree until they rot. And when they rot...they DROP! And then you have... the coconut bomb! 

Picture this, dear reader: a solid coconut, literally as hard as a rock and weighing upwards of 5 pounds. Then factor in its long drop from some 80 feet up in the air! The result? A very deadly falling object!

As far as I know, no one around here in the Valentina Society where I currently reside has suffered a mortal blow from one of these monstrous nuts. 

However! You may have noticed a bit of a roof jutting out in the bottom right hand corner of this photo. That is OUR roof, my friends... and I can tell you something: when that heavy bomb of a coconut drops onto the metallic surface of the roof, it sounds like the report of a rifle going off. If you have never heard gunshot, use your imagination. You think your eardrum has exploded! In a panic, you imagine that you have permanently lost your hearing.   You simply cannot fathom how loud gunshot is until you have heard it from your own gun, when you have forgotten to put your ear protectors on! (Yes, dear reader, I have personally had this experience when I was practicing at the gun range... young and foolish rookie cop that I was!) 

The sound is....startling, shocking....and most likely you will be traumatized for life!

Now imagine that you are calmly reposed in your cozy little room....perhaps reading a book, perhaps settling down for a restful slumber. 

Then suddenly...BLAMMM!!!

One of these coconut bombs lands on the roof over your head, or the neighbor's roof just below you. You jump. Your heart starts pounding, your adrenaline is pumping... your body goes into full fight-or-flight mode!

If this were a rare occurrence, no biggie! Unfortunately, this has become a FREQUENT occurrence where I live! I don't know why; perhaps the pre-monsoon rains are causing the coconuts up there to rot faster and therefore fall with greater rapidity. 

No one I have asked can satisfactorily answer my queries as to WHY these wonderful coconuts are NOT being picked, especially since they are all  morphing from a delicious food into a deadly implement of destruction! 

Tragic, indeed. Worse, I am seriously shell-shocked!

It is not just the noise, but the knowledge that any day now, one will prove to be lethal....crash clear through the roof, or land on the head of some unwitting passerby. Which could be me...my head! 

But I must remember...this is India. You simply would not believe what people live through, survive, against all odds. Every day! 

Perhaps this miraculous ability to survive in India explains the prevalent attitude of laissez-faire.  For, when it comes to the matter of a hazard such as a potentially deadly falling coconut, only a silly foreigner--me!--seems to care or even show a modicum of concern. 

I can tell you, though, that every time I walk by that tree, I look up, ready to dodge that coconut bomb when it falls, and counting my blessings I have lived through yet another day in this land... a land of endless surprises and infinite hazards. Somehow, miraculously, I am still here! And living on, happily...to tell yet another tale for your entertainment!